X-MEN: WAR 2.0!!!
(It all begins here!!!! Again! Probably!)
Yes. We have ascended the mountaintop and what awaits us is not answers or enlightenment, it’s simply the cool drink that is nerd games. Let us play the games, then.
Was I sliiiiightly high on edibles while writing some of this? Yes. Yes, I was. Excellent eye. Moving on.
And here’s the post of me announcing 2.0 — which includes some “all new!” cards by me. I dealt about half of the new cards I made into this batch, and after the cut, if you’re a paid subscriber, you can vote in each of the match ups and comment (and argue with friends/frenemies in the comments). It’s been great fun and I expect it to be again.
So let’s get to it.
It’s very simple — just like classic war, you just scroll through the post and vote on each of the match ups for who you think would win.
MAGIK VS LONGSHOT
Sorry boyo. I know you got the luck, but I don’t know if all the luck in the world can save you against a true force of nature like Magik. I do, personally, rate her very high, perhaps too high. But even if I knock her down some, I still think she gets him here.
2. CYCLOPS VS ICEMAN
Oooh. Good match. If you did this back in the day, it’s Cyke, no contest. But Bobby has developed so much since then. I think modern day Iceman has the power edge…but I think Cyclops fighting skills/leadership/experience are pretty formidable. Honestly? I think this one is super close.
3. GAMBIT VS JUBILEE
Hmmm. I think I rate Jubilee as higher than a lot of other people…but I think I also do that with Gambit? This isn’t really a question for me. Would be a good fight for a bit, but Gambit’s fighting skill, experience, agility, and creativity would ultimately win him the day.
4. PSYLOCKE (BETSY BRADDOCK) VS AKIHIRO (FKA DAKEN)
Hey! Our first “new” card!!! Most of you probably know the gent on the right as DAKEN. But there’s some controversy with that name and it looks like it’s currently in flux (?) so I went with AKIHIRO for now. Any of you new to the game might need a reminder that despite the look, this (in the 90s) WAS Psylocke/Betsy Braddock, so we’re staying true to that card, despite my feelings (the controversy in match 4! my god!) ANYWAY, Daken is Wolverine’s son basically. So as you can imagine he is a super tough badass. If this is Kwannon, I feel like I’d give the slight edge to Psylocke. But as it’s Betsy…it really feels like a push to me. Very close!
NOTE: New Akihiro card art by Giuseppe Camuncoli.
5. PHOENIX (RACHEL) VS DOMINO
I think I like Domino more than most readers and I suspect I like Rachel less than most readers. But this isn’t a popularity contest (or it’s not supposed to be). Domino’s got no chance. Sorry, girl.
6. CABLE VS BLINK
Another new card! And actually…I think this is a super interesting match up. Like you wouldn’t think so because Cable is a giant guy loaded down with 50 guns and pouches where as Blink is a young woman who’s traveling light. But they’re both teleporters and time/world(s) travelers. So they’ve got some surprising overlaps. I think… his experience ultimately gives him the win, but it’s closer than he’d like it to be!
NOTE: New Blink cart art by Jay Anacleto.
7. LILANDRA VS HAVOK
Lilandra is probably underrated by most of us — but even so, she’s got no chance here. She has great training as a Shi’ar Warrior and some limited “powers,” but ultimately she’s an Empress, not a superhero, Havok takes this, no contest.
8. BEAST VS JEAN GREY
This match up would have made me feel bad before, but Beast has become a real dick in the last 10-15 years. Really bums me out tbh. Hank McCoy was a favorite since I was a teen but I barely recognize him these days. Jean for the win. Easy. And since he’s changed I don’t even feel bad about.
9. BANSHEE VS WARPATH
Man. According to Wikipedia Warpath is over 7 feet tall. WTF? I think someone needs to let the artists know. ANYWAY. This one’s tough. I think I probably regularly underrate Warpath’s strength — Wikipedia also says Warpath can destroy a Sentinel with a clap, which sounds… extremely suspect to me. That said, I think Banshee’s powerset is cool and also something I’ve spent very little time thinking about until recently…but I bet there’s a lot of devastating shit you can do with sonic powers. ;D
10. MEGGAN VS COLOSSUS
I’m sure the votes will give this to Colossus and that’s fair, I probably underrate him, but I know Meggan better than most readers it seems (read Davis/Davis Excalibur everyone!) and I feel sure she’s got this. I do think that one thing I hold against Colossus is that he (mostly, when stories aren’t fucking with him) doesn’t have a huge blood lust. He’s the soul of a poet and artist, more than a fighter. And that makes me like him more as a character, but makes it less likely for me to put down money on him in a fight like this I guess.
11. BOOM BOOM VS WOLVERINE (LAURA)
Oooooh. Sorry, Boom Boom. Rough draw. Wolverine gonna chop you up into little itty bitty pieces.
NOTE: New Wolverine card art by David Lopez.
12. BISHOP VS EMMA FROST/WHITE QUEEN
Damn. These guys are both fighters. Like, I think ultimately Emma’s got this as mental powers are just really tough to fight against, but Bishop can give her a fight like few people here can I think. I’m into it.
13. STRONG GUY VS ARCHANGEL
Hmmm. I kind of like this. But it’s maybe not a super fun fight to watch. Strong Guy land-bound, Archangel dancing around in the air, throwing blades at Guido that… bounce harmlessly off of him? I guess it’s about who can last longer? But if I’m honest I don’t see Archangel really being able to hurt Strong Guy and if Guido manages to get his hands on Warren it’s crush time.
14. WOLFSBANE VS QUICKSILVER
If I was a supe I’d never want to fight a speedster. Just… total nightmare. Maybe especially if it’s Pietro since he’s such a dick. lol. Sorry, Wolfsbane. You’re fast, he’s faster.
15. CANNONBALL VS CAPTAIN BRITAIN
Hmmmm. I don’t hate it. I think Brian certainly has more abilities, and that plus his experience probably gives him an edge but it’s hard to count out someone whose entire powerset is based on being invincible in certain scenarios.
16. MIRAGE VS DEADPOOL
Oh damn. Bad draw for your first time out, Mirage! I love Dani and would have been delighted to see her win, but ultimately I don’t think she can take Deadpool. She’s got an incredibly interesting powerset, but most of it won’t be super effective against Wade. When you add to that his fighting ability and inability to die…yeah, tough pull for Dani.
NOTE: New Mirage card art by Mahmud Asrar.
17. KYLUN VS NIGHTCRAWLER
Oh! I mean, I know Kylun has no chance here, because he is barely known and Nightcrawler is beloved (for good reason) — but this is actually a pretty good fight I think. They have a lot of overlap that would make for a terrific battle.
18. DAZZLER VS KITTY PRYDE
They both have awesome powersets but…I don’t know, I don’t want to punk, Ali, but I think Kitty’s got this. At the end of the day, Ali isn’t a superhero, she’s a rockstar. She just dabbles in being a superhero. And I like that for her, it’s interesting, but it hurts her in match ups like this, because Kitty is a superhero down into her BONES. So she takes it.
19. NORTHSTAR VS WOLVERINE
OOOOH. Welcome to the game, Northstar!
OOOOH. Also, I’m sorry, Northstar.
NOTE: New Northstar card art by Phil Noto.
20. FERAL VS CERISE
I’ve realized why I have trouble ultimately rating characters like Feral highly. She’s got power and intensity and certainly passion, but one of her flaws is her temper. It gets the best of her a lot — it probably serves her very well in short intense fights (bezerker energy!) — but in longer fights/smarter fights/fights against a friend/ally — I feel like that serves her… less well. I rate Cerise a lot more highly than most of you, as I loved her in the old Excalibur days, but even if I downgrade her to a more “normal” level, I still think she takes this. She’s a trained Shi’ar Warrior (which is no bullshit), she’s clam/strategic/experienced and she’s got enhanced strength and speed as well as energy weapons/shields and blasts. She’s got this. Sorry, Maria.
21. FORGE VS SUNSPOT
Sort of a shades of Batman/Superman match up…but just with much less famous/popular versions…if you squint real hard. So I feel like if you believe Batman can beat Superman…then Forge can beat Sunspot? lol
22. PROFESSOR XAVIER VS MAGNETO
We’ve seen this fight a bunch over the years so I confess to a bit of boredom in this draw. Ironically, as a kid, I would have obviously wanted and rooted for Xavier and felt Magneto probably would have won despite my wishes — because Xavier maybe wouldn’t cross certain lines. But Xavier today is not the shiny hero I once believed in…which is sad but also a pretty realistic? It also means maybe he’d have a better shot at winning here…but I’d root for him less. Funny. Given where they’re both at right now, maybe it’s a push? Yawn.
23. SIRYN VS ROGUE
Sorry, Sugah. You dead.
24. POLARIS VS SHATTERSTAR
This boy likes metal A LOT. He fucked. Sorry, kiddo.
25. MULTIPLE MAN VS MYSTIQUE
Ooooh. Shit. I love this one. I wanna write this one. Like, imagine the possibilities…
26. ARMOR VS STORM
OOOF. Super tough first draw for my girl Hisako. Buuuuuuuut…hear me out? I don’t think, ultimately, that Hisako can take Storm, Storm is just too powerful and too experienced (literally one of the greatest superhero characters of all time)…but Armor IS a surprisingly tough fight for her. For starters, so long as Armor can stay conscious and have enough energy to keep her armored form, nothing can hurt her. Nothing Storm throws at her even touches her. Additionally, she could use her own armored power on Storm’s claustrophobia in a pretty devastating way. Again, I don’t think she can win, but it’s DEFINITELY a fight.
NOTE: New Armor card art by Mark Brooks.
Okay. That’s it! I can’t wait to see what y’all vote for and the cases you make for those votes in the comments. Also, we have a bunch of new paid readers from the last month or two that haven’t played the game before — so if they show up in the comments please be friendly and welcoming and only SORTA weird — we don’t want to scare them off. <3
I’ll circle back on Tuesday (?) with the results!