Well well well. Here we all are again. And if you need to goof off in preparation for the weekend WE. ARE. HERE. FOR. YOU.
Time to do this X-Men War again, but this time free of twitter!
What devastating match ups await us?! Enter if you dare!
If you want the backstory on what this is all about you can read the first post here, and the results post here!
But the quick and dirty is that we’re playing the classic card game WAR with my old 1990’s Jim Lee X-Men Card deck as my brother Scott and I used to play as kids.
Last weekend I pared the cards down (removing team cards, villain cards — for characters that haven’t become heroes or anti-heroes since, the connecting cards, and a few others). I ended up with 46 character cards. I shuffled them and dealt them out to two fictional players - PLAYER A and PLAYER B. And then we went to war with them.
The first time we did it, we voted on Twitter…I have since realized we can do the voting here since Substack added polling. So now, BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT, we’re doing it again, just on Substack and (with a point spread reminiscent of the Wolverine vs Beast match up beating) you also voted for an ALL NEW SHUFFLE.
And so these are our official X-MEN WAR match ups! Get in there and vote your brains out!
ROUND 1: SHATTERSTAR VS GAMBIT
I really like this one — similar agility and fighting skills — similar fighters even I’d say in some ways. But I think Gambit’s energy projection powers really give him the edge. Shatterstar is a master of all weapons, but to Remy ANYTHING is a weapon, y’know? So yeah, I give it to Gambit. That said, I can admit extreme bias. ;D
ROUND 2: WOLFSBANE VS JUBILEE
A much fairer match than we saw previously for either of them. This would probably be a pretty great fight. I lean toward giving it to Jubilee, both because she’ll be more effective from a distance and she doesn’t have to be as precise in her attack. Rahne has to rip Jubes apart to win, but Jubilee could knock her out with explosions — an easier distance win, y’know?
ROUND 3: FORGE VS KYLUN
I think he might not win this vote (he lost last time too) but I still think Forge takes it. I just think being SO smart is a huge advantage that we tend to discount.
ROUND 4: ROGUE VS SUNSPOT
I think…this isn’t really close to me if Rogue has her distance absorbing. And I think she still probably wins even if she doesn’t have it? Rogue’s power is pretty respected by readers I think, but I don’t really think she gets enough credit for being a great fighter — and she is. Her access to other characters memories and powers makes her very flexible and broad in her range of skills in my opinion. But I admit extreme bias here. Roberto is cool and very powerful but he got nothing on my girl! ;D
ROUND 5: ARCHANGEL VS CANNONBALL
Oooh. Good match up I think! This one should be super close, right?
ROUND 6: MEGGAN VS LONGSHOT
If Twitter is anything to go by, Meggan is going to lose again, but I think she would destroy my boy Longshot here. Not only just her raw and very flexible powers, but I think her innocence/purity would maybe make Longshot’s luck powers less effective? Because his luck is sort of tied to the pure of heart thing, right? I feel like that would be less effective against an equally pure being? Is that crazy?
I say again. The woman NEVER WEARS SHOES. Think of how powerful you’d have to be to make that choice!
ROUND 7: PSYLOCKE (KWANNON) VS MYSTIQUE
I would like to go to there.
This would be a good ass fight.
I rate Mystique VERY highly — probably higher than most. Even so, I think Kwannon takes this.
ROUND 8: DOMINO VS DEADPOOL
My bet? Her luck runs out before he runs out of infinite lives. Deadpool takes it for me. But it would be a damn cool fight.
ROUND 9: BANSHEE VS DAZZLER
Oof. Very rough draw for Banshee. I mean, she just blows up his throat/larynx/everyyyyything the second he screams, right? So he loses both his attack power and his flight power right out of the gate. He can fight her hand to hand, and he’s probably a better fighter than her — but he can’t take her hand to hand when she’s also got all her powers at her disposal.
ROUND 10: CABLE VS MAGNETO
Rough draw for Cable. Dude uses A LOT of metal. And IS a lot of metal. Yipes!
ROUND 11: MULTIPLE MAN VS SIRYN
Jeez. The Irish can’t catch a break, huh? This isn’t as bad as Banshee drawing Dazzler, but it’s not far off. Siryn’s power just isn’t that effective against Multiple Man, and most of the time, just creates more of him. There are still avenues for her to win, but it’s an uphill battle. Jamie takes this.
ROUND 12: WHITE QUEEN (EMMA FROST) VS SHADOWCAT (KITTY PRYDE)
Ooooh. INTERESTING. And bonus points for “grudge match”! I mean, yes, I know they’re friends now and it’s great, but I do love the Astonishing stuff with them as forced allies — which turns into a beautifully developed friendship over time. Annnnnyway. This goes to Emma for me. It’s a fight for sure, but I think she gets Kitty in the end.
ROUND 13: WOLVERINE VS QUICKSILVER
Wolvie takes it. No surprise. Sorry, Pietro.
ROUND 14: COLOSSUS VS CYCLOPS
Not a great draw for Colossus. I think Scott’s got this pretty easy.
ROUND 15: BISHOP VS LILANDRA
I feel like Lilandra just doesn’t really have a chance in any of these matches. Like, sure, she’s a tough Shi’ar (they have stronger than human bodies as a rule I believe) and she’s a very good fighter. But she’s like a good fighter for an EMPRESS not a warrior. And she’s fighting other warriors, so she’s out classed — and then also most people she’d fight also have literal powers that only increase that gap. Bishop takes this without question.
ROUND 16: BEAST VS WARPATH
Much better match up for Beast. About the same for Warpath maybe? I feel like if their strength is similar and durability similar… then we gotta look at other strengths and weaknesses… Hank is smarter/more clever, but James feels like the better fighter I think? Man, this one’s tough.
ROUND 17: MAGIK VS JEAN GREY
ROUND 18: CERISE VS BOOM BOOM
Oh! This is a much better match up than last time (and weird how similar their outfits are!)
I think this is a pretty great fight actually. I think Cerise is the better fighter and more physically imposing/stronger, and her power is a bit more flexible, but Tabitha probably has more raw power? I think I’d give it to Cerise, but it’d be a fun fight to see.
ROUND 19: STRONG GUY VS FERAL
Much better match up for Strong Guy. Although her agility and speed is definitely gonna be a problem for him, I think it will be really tough for her to actually hurt him…so he’s just gotta wait her out?
ROUND 20: STORM VS CAPTAIN BRITAIN
This could probably be a great fight in the hands of a good writer…but that writer… is not me, because Storm takes this easy for me. I don’t know if that’s fair or accurate, but it is how I see the characters. Storm is one of the best in every way. She does have one very well-known debilitating weakness, but it’s really the only one and she somehow manages to overcome it every time anyway. Sorry, Bri.
ROUND 21: ICEMAN VS NIGHTCRAWLER
This is another good fight! I feel like this is another case where one has more raw power and one is a better fighter. I think I’d give this to Kurt. If he’s smart/creative with his powers I think he can get the win.
ROUND 22: PROFESSOR XAVIER VS PHOENIX (RACHEL)
Man. Xavier really wants to beat (>cough< be humiliated? >cough<) by a Phoenix. I predict badness for him once again. Which is pretty fascinating actually. Remember when we all loved him SO MUCH? Hrm.
ROUND 23: HAVOK VS POLARIS
Hooboy. First of all, just like Xavier…Polaris really wants to mess up a Summers boy I guess! Second, bonus points for exes battle! I felt like Scott and Lorna were neck and neck and I think Scott beats Alex…so that means Lorna probably beats Alex too? I’d give it to Lorna I guess, but it’d be close.
All right. Cannot wait to see who you guys pick and what you all have to say. Excited to read your comments and waste away our Friday! <3
We’ll have the poll results in about 24 hours and I’ll do another summary post to chat about it a bit, but feel free to pop off on these matches in the comments! Nee some conversation/fight starters?
What’s the best/closest match up here and why?
Who’s the most surprising potential winner?
Who’s going to be the most upsetting loser?
What match up would you most LIKE to see?
Which would you like most LEAST to see?
Who is your favorite character from this group of 46? Least favorite? Do you know why for either?
Take care, my lambs. Have a great weekend and if you’re somewhere that is hot as hell right now, try to stay cool. <3
I gave a terrifying level of thought to each vote.
I want this to be the next wordle. I want to wake up and play this game every morning for just six weeks while I wait for water to heat up for coffee.